Band, Baja, Baraat – Then and Now

Band, Baja, Baraat – Then and Now

The wedding season is on and chances are, you have received a considerable number of invitations this year. Call it the fault of stars or the traditional attachment to astrology and ‘mahurat’ that most weddings this year have found their place in January-February. While the innumerable events in the month of November saw little venues left for weddings to happen in Bhubaneswar, January has come with a series of ‘lucky’ dates for marital union. And since the 80s and early 90s millennials are tying the knot, you are bound to have some millennial touch added to it, right? Well, there’s more.Weddings have always been a huge affair in India and a big deal for most parents. While the quintessential ‘Band, Baja, Baraat’ continues to happen, the style and mannerisms have undergone a lot of changes. What was steeped in tradition for so long has now finally taken the form of a cross-cultural amalgamation where traditions are mixed and matched and vows are exchanged in more ways than one. Kalindi Nayak, sociologist, attributes these trends to the kind of exposure the young have to social media and what popular media propagates through several mediums. “Look at most of the weddings that are happening these days. It is more about what you post online, when you do it and how candid it appears to be, in spite of the fact that it is not so. I have wedding albums of the 1950s when camera reels were limited and hence, you had a certain number of photographs only. The current generation has no such limitations. Most photographers are hired today to shoot pictures for online updates. And albums, too, have turned digital.”While Odia ‘shaadis’ did not incorporate pre-wedding events like mehndi, sangeet and all, these north-Indian elements are found in most weddings today. Says Sipra Singh, research scholar, “When I got married some ten years ago, we did not even think of such kind of functions. I did not even have any engagement because we don’t have any such ring-exchanging tradition. Neither was it in vogue then. But, when my niece got married, it was a ten-day extravaganza with sangeet, specific day dedicated to mehndi, photographs from funky angles and what not! More than the wedding, it is these events that hold a lot of importance these days.” Singh also mentions how she was amazed by the invitation card designs and e-vites which her niece sent out to her friends and associates. “Many were invited via WhatsApp messages only. And they did attend. In earlier times, a wedding invite was valid only if you invited your guests personally with a card,” she adds. Her views are echoed by Malvika Dasgupta, software engineer who got married in 2014. “I did not invite most of my friends or associates because of time constraints. E-vites were not in vogue then. But now, it seems they are because I have received a tonnes of them in the past 2-3 years.”How do such e-vites work? Well, for starters, they are cheaper than traditional invitation cards and can be sent to many with just one click. “Not just e-vites, even the wedding invitation cards have become cooler, funkier with animated illustrations or caricatures of the bride and groom and their backgrounds,” says Swagat Mohanty, animator. “Most of the orders I receive are of animated cards where the couple, belonging to different communities, wish to narrate a short story or give a glimpse into their union. It was few and far up until 2015 or even early 2016. The number has sharply increased these days,” he reveals. For most couples, it is about making things hassle-free. Mohanty further says, “Most couples I know had also ordered traditional wedding invites, which was for their parents and relatives among others. E-vites are usually kept limited to peers and members of Gen-Y since weddings continue to be a serious, social as well as familial institution. There has to be some formality, many believe.”Not just e-vites, you now have ‘Save the Date’ cards and goodies sent across to guests, for those who can afford them. While the former provides you with variety of options, the latter is for the elite. The trend has gained stronghold since December last year when Anushka Sharma and Virat Kohli posted pictures of their wedding out of the blue, thus unleashing a chain of trends which were further carried on by their counterparts in the film industry. These include the hashtags combining the first names of both the bride and the groom, floral or theme-based decorations, destination weddings, elaborate and tailor-made gifts, elegant, outwardly backgrounds in wedding photographs and background music when the bride arrives. While a host of these trends have been inspired from the west, there are some which are a blend of many communities pan-India. Sampraditi Mishra, wedding and events planner, says, “Earlier, marriages were solemnised by families and parents organised and supervised everything. And it was a homogenous affair – same caste, class and community. Nowadays, couples do everything on their own. They team up together, plan the wedding, hire a wedding manager who decides on the theme, styling and more while also opting for choreographers who put up a show in the days leading to the wedding. It is a heterogeneous affair, one which sets your style symbol.”One might say that a lot of these trends first came in with Bollywood weddings and TV serials. The K-soaps played a key role in bringing these typically north-Indian pre-wedding rituals like singing and dancing to individual households. It further intensified with people opening up more to inter-caste and inter-state marriages. With DJ and dance floor added to even the main event, the bride and the groom also shun all inhibitions. “The brides were not even allowed to look up, smile with teeth showing or interact with the opposite sex. We were asked to be coy and our heads would be facing down all the time, even if you developed neck pain,” quips Ruma Mishra, a Bihari residing in Bhubaneswar. “Now, you have brides posing for photographs in all kinds of angles, professing their love for their better half and even dancing with their entry. I personally love that! In our time, doing anything even remotely unconventional would have led to the groom cancelling the wedding on spot!,” she laughs.And none of these apply only to couples choosing their own life partners. Even arranged marriages have an entire film dedicated to the proceedings. Says Ruchika Parmar, “My brother’s wedding was a family affair and hence, we wanted to do something special. Although theirs is an arranged marriage, we wanted to make it memorable. It is about cherishing the good things you have or you are developing while getting to know each other and keeping it for posterity. While the album of my parents wedding is still intact, the digital medium allows us to preserve these occasions.” Wedding films, teasers, trailers have also become a huge hit in the online space and it has all to do with the popularity of photography as a full time vocation, thanks to technology and social media.Youngsters have taken things in their hands and decide their own fashion wear and jewellery. But online and offline mediums cater to their taste. Shibani Palo, who recently got engaged, designed her own style, makeup, hair and picked out her accessories, keeping in mind the blend of Eastern and South Indian cultures. “I took my brother’s help and searched for an ideal picture for my engagement dress. Once I find my inspiration, the rest was about picking things up. I went to the fabric market in Bangalore and luckily found 80% match. Since I could not get a matching dupatta for my outfit, I dyed a white one. The border for the dupatta took some searching, but I found that too. And thanks to the great tailor I know, my imagination could see the reality,” she says.Like most of the fashion designers, Shibani too feels that traditional and classic sarees like Banarasi and Kanjeevaram are back in vogue leaving the lehengas behind, especially after the 2018 celebrity weddings. “Be it Deepika who chose a Kanjeevaram or Anushka who chose a magnificent Banarasi, these sarees are timeless. I have chosen a red Kanjeevaram for my wedding and designed the pallu myself,” beams Shibani.However, not all things have undergone changes. Parents still shell out cash for everything and decide on the rituals,muhurat and more. Unlike her peers, Shibani feels pre-wedding photography is cliche, but she does plan for a royal night wedding. “There have been certain changes yes, but the ethic remains the same. Weddings are an expensive affair and even though both the bride and the groom prepare, plan and put their individual expenses in the show, the bride’s family continues to cater to the whims and fancies of the groom and his relatives. The young generation has given the outward appearance a change, but no major social change has come in when it comes to solemnising marriages,” says wedding planner Aaspruha Mohapatra.