Love, Lies And Legal Battles: Rising Divorce Trends in Bhubaneswar
Marriage is no longer considered a sacred institution that exists in most societies around the world as a permanent feature of civilised human existence. Leading a happy and healthy married life has become a challenging task for youths today. Ego, lack of mutual understanding, lack of faith among husband and wife are resulting in unsuccessful marriages.
From emotional unavailability to infidelity, it seems modern marriage today is no longer a sacred institution for young couples. The spine-chilling incident that grabbed all the headlines, newly-wed Raja Raghuvanshi was allegedly murdered by his wife, Sonam Raghuvanshi, during their honeymoon trip to Meghalaya. This is not just one case; there have been numerous cases where marriages end in a fight or divorce, and some even take an unexpected turn. There have been cases where we have seen how choosing the wrong partner can cost you your life. For example, Atul Subash's case, a Bangalore-based software engineer who committed suicide as he couldn’t bear the harassment and torture of his estranged wife and in-laws. In his suicide note, he has also mentioned how his in-laws requested a settlement of Rs 30 million as a part of the divorce proceedings. He has also expressed his concerns and grievances regarding his divorce case and custody. This incident highlights various issues related to marital disputes, including dowry laws, the judicial system, and mental health.
Another incident from Meerut where Muskan Rastogi killed her husband, Saurabh Rajput, a Merchant Navy Officer, with the help of her lover, Sahil Shukla. This particular incident shook the entire nation and also raised questions about the integrity and authenticity of the sacred bond.
These incidents make us wonder whether marriage, which is supposed to be built on trust, love and emotions, has become so fragile and complex. In the present scenario, we see a rampant rise in divorce cases among young couples who are finding it difficult to maintain their marriage, and it's alarming, experts quoted. We get in touch with a few experts to know the reason why long-lasting relationships are becoming increasingly elusive and what can be done to maintain this sacred bond.
Intolerance and a lack of patience in relationships lead to disagreements.
Satyajit Pattanaik, an Advocate and Central Govt Council, informs that he has seen a significant increase in the number of mutual consent divorces, in recent years as compared to yesteryears. The advocate cited several factors that lead to the rise of divorce cases in Bhubaneswar, including: Intolerance and lack of patience in relationships, leading to small issues escalating into bigger problems. Education and financial independence among spouses can sometimes contribute to increased expectations and conflicts. Changing social dynamics, such as increased interaction with colleagues and others outside of traditional social circles. Extended family interference includes in-laws in the couple’s daily life.
While interacting with Satyajit, he informs that getting child custody and alimony are the most common disputes that he handles during divorce cases. “Out-of-court settlements and alternative dispute resolution methods are not yet very popular in Bhubaneswar, except in cases filed under Section 13B of the Hindu Marriage Act, which allows for mutual consent divorce. The average time it takes for a divorce to be finalised in Bhubaneswar courts is around 3 years,” adds Pattanaik.
Young couples are coming forward to seek psychological counselling
Bhubaneswar-based counselling psychologist Smaranika Panda thinks that young couples are coming forward and volunteering to seek psychological counselling more often as compared to older couples.
The psychologist lists a few major issues that led to the couple's separation. She informs, “Financial management disagreements are the most common causes. The partners have radically different views on financial planning of expenditure, investments and savings. The second cause is infidelity. At times, it is real, and at times, it is perceived owing to the over-possessive attitude of the spouses. Strangely enough, it is a conflict of emotions where, over-possessive attitude comes from intense love, and accusations stem from a lack of trust. Blaming each other for infidelity when one of the spouses is into it comes out of projection, an ego defence mechanism. Busy schedules and a lack of quality time together result in reduced opportunities for meaningful interactions and bonding. Thus, misunderstandings creep in, owing to a lack of proper communication between the partners. Excessive involvement in screen time and decreased face-to-face interaction lead to Distractions and decreased attention to each other.
Premarital counselling and understanding each other’s values and goals
Lack of communication, Infidelity, and domestic abuse are some of the major reasons for a couple to drift apart, says Adiba Afreen, Project Officer at Rubaroo Breaking Silences Foundation.
With increasing urbanisation, education, and awareness, women likely feel empowered to exit unsatisfactory or harmful marriages, adds Adiba, when asked about the increasing rates of divorce cases in the capital city.
Adiba believes that premarital counselling is helpful as it provides a platform for the couples to understand each other’s expectations and potential stress points in marriage; finances, family, intimacy, etc. Counselling provides a realistic perspective on what marriage entails, not just romance but partnership, compromise, and effort.
Couple of months back, Deputy Chief Minister Pravati Parida announced that the year 2025 would be observed as ‘Divorce Prevention Year’, which will focus on promoting mental well-being and preventing the breakdown of marriages through awareness and support services.
We asked some married women what they think about this initiative:
Neeta Khandelwal, Principal, Cohen International School, Cuttack welcomes the Deputy CM initiative. She says, “When partners opt for a strong and clear communication then divorce can be avoided. Spending quality time together to maintain emotional and physical intimacy. Align on shared goals, such as finances, parenting, and plans. Practice forgiveness, patience, and understanding during tough times. Seeking help early through counselling or support groups can help them manage their expectations and avoid unnecessary conflicts.”
While Tanushree Dash, a homemaker, believes that premarital counselling can be helpful to some extent but it may not be fruitful enough to tackle some of the serious issues like domestic violence, a toxic environment, and addiction. “Premarital counselling is a great move, no doubt, but in the long run, will it be beneficial? What if the husband physically and mentally assaults his wife, and what if he takes up intoxication? Honestly, I feel staying in a bad relationship just for societal pressure is not a good option.”
We've outlined a few cases to illustrate the increasing fragility of marriage in contemporary society. Below are a few cases from Bhubaneswar without revealing the personal details of the couples:
High Hopes— Kavita and Aditya
It was love at first sight for Kavita (35). She met Aditya during a conference and fell in love with him. “He was very loving and caring, but he always aspired to move to Mumbai to pursue his dream of becoming a dancer. We have planned everything, like me relocating to Mumbai, finding a job and supporting him in chasing his dream. With the consent of both families, we tied the knot in 2019, but soon there was a drastic change in his behaviour. He was no longer the caring and loving man I knew and just only, and he just wanted to shift to Mumbai as soon as possible,” says Kavita.
“Within a week of our marriage, I could sense a sea change in his behaviour. When I told him that I need some time to quit my job and get a new one, he asked me to stay back in Bhubaneswar, and he would shift to Mumbai alone. He wouldn’t talk to me. Whenever I call him, he will hang up, saying ‘I am busy’. Initially, I discarded my negative thoughts, thinking he might be ambitious and just wanted to fulfil his dreams. One day, I thought of giving him a surprise, so I went to Mumbai, and my world crashed down when I found out that he is in a relationship with another woman. I didn’t confront him because I know whatever he says is all lies. I told my parents, and after four years, in November 2024, I finally got separated from him. Today, I am happy in my small world,” explains Kavita.
Love Lost— Pooja and Sanjay
Sanjay (32), a corporate employee and Pooja (30), a teacher, both met at a mutual friend’s birthday party in 2023, and both were looking for a serious and long-term relationship. “After six months of courtship, we got married, everything was going fine eventually, but as time passed on, I figured that whenever I talk to the opposite gender, he freaks out. I remember, once we had organised a party at our home, and he slapped me in front of everyone because I was talking to another man, which came as a complete shock to me. Initially, I tried to save my marriage, but when incidents like this happened quite frequently, I finally decided to take this extreme step,” quips Pooja.
Not Made For Each Other— Deepak and Sudha
Deepak (33), who runs a garment showroom in Cuttack, got married to Sudha (28), a corporate employee, through an arranged marriage. Things were going pretty smoothly, but the distant behaviour of Sudha was a concern for Deepak, but he thought maybe she is taking time to adjust to the new family. But over time, Deepak discovered that she is still in touch with her ex-boyfriend. “At first, I thought that as it’s a new place she is taking to adjust, but one morning I saw some messages from her ex-boyfriend which turned my world upside down. I even confronted and told her we could start afresh, but she revealed to me that she got married because her family forced her. With no choice but to start a healthy relationship, the case is still going on, and hopefully, I can lead a peaceful life after such emotional and mental turmoil.
